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 The copied pages of Nyra's Journal
Posted: Feb 11 2008, 10:08 PM

Guardian of the Ancient Ways
Posts: 106
Class: Druid

*before you lie several numbered pages and a small note. they're all written in Ashtear's inelegant scrawl*

The note reads:

Nyra's Journal...

I'm not sure what to make of this, so I will leave it up to you. Know that there appear to be some pages missing between 12th and 13th.

page 1

Today I arrived in Silithus. First impression: whoa, what a heat. Second impression: whoa, what a lot of people! It took me a while to find the Silver Sentinel camp, but everyone was very kind and accommodating. I’m yet to see the enemy up-close, but the Keeper briefed us on what they’ve discovered about them so far.

The very small ones are said to be relatively harmless, but we kill them just to make sure. The big ones require considerably more effort. The Keeper says that the worst are yet to come though, that we will encounter bugs which makes these big ones look like grains of sand (of which there is, by the way, far too much here too). I have faith in the Keeper and in my sisters and brothers, I really do. Luckily, Fanaion is here too, of course. However, despite all of that...

I’m still a bit scared.

Page 2

*the writing looks messy*

Back from my first day at the front-lines. I’m still all shaken up.

Their chitinous plating is interlaced in such a way that makes it incredibly strong, my glaive just can’t seem to get through it. Just what’s their weak point?

Page 3

I saw someone die today.

I don’t even know her name. She arrived on the same day as I did, though I went to the Silver Sentinels while she was stationed with the Sentinel Army. That’s about all I knew about her. She had just landed her first killing blow, and turned around to face me as I congratulated her. Standing like that, she didn’t see the stinger of another Silithid coming for her. It went right through her back and came out the other way, I could see the blood, the intestines and... By Elune, it was horrible. I don’t think I’ll ever forget it.

Page 4

Sound carries far here, and I don’t like what I hear. The bugs don’t sleep. The buzzing never stops. It’s the sound to which I wake up, it is the sound that gives the rhythm to my fighting, and it is the sound to which I fall asleep. That is, if I even manage to fall asleep.

And not being able to sleep isn’t good. It makes my mind wonder, especially to Fanaion and my father. With all the sadness and pain around me, I feel really guilty at times for thinking about him like that. But I can’t help it. Whenever I think of how my future should be, it always ends up with me and Fanaion being together. I know it’s selfish and even farfetched… but that’s what dreams are for, right? It gives me hope, and hope’s always good.

Yet there are also moments where I realize just how close to dying I come every day. And then I think of my dear father. I said so many things which I did not mean at all, and I think he did not mean what he said either. I pray to the Goddess that She grants me the opportunity to apologize to him, please don’t let these be the last words said between us.

Page 5

I’ve always been good at dodging and though it pays off here, today proved that there’s still room for improvement. One of the bugs aimed for my chest, and though I was able to avoid that, it still managed to cut my arm. A lot of blood came out, but it’s not as worse as it looks, I can still fight. Liasanya told me that Fanaion looked very worried when he saw me get cut. Perhaps something good might come of this yet!

Page 6

I wish this war was over already. I long for the forests of Ashenvale. Or no, I think I’d rather be in Winterspring, as there is nothing to remind me of this place in its snowy landscape. It’s too cold for the bugs. And by Elune, the bugs just keep coming. We’ve lost so much ground to them... so many good people.

Page 7

Fanaion was severely wounded during today’s assault. He’s sustained a large wound to his leg, and he lost a lot of blood before we were able to bring him into the care of our Priestesses. I haven’t seen him since he was carried into the tent.

I’m sick with worry.

Page 8

His condition remains critical. Part of me wants to run in there right now and be with him, yet another part keeps me from doing that. Why would he want to see me, right? I’ll probably just be a bother to him.

Page 9

Liasanya visited Fanaion today. She says he’s doing better, that he’s stable now. She once again urged me to go and see him, she says my reasons for not going are ridiculous, that it’s just plain rude not to visit someone you know when they’re ill.

Maybe I’ll go tomorrow.

Page 10

All right, so I went to visit him today. He looked terrible, it was horrible to see him in such a state. And as I made my way to his bed, I thought about turning back and leaving, but then he recognized and greeted me. I’ve missed hearing his voice. Anyway, he said he was happy to see me. We had a really nice talk. Talked about everything except this bloody war. Then, as I prepared to leave, he took my hand and said “Nyra, thank you for coming. I’ve been wanting to see you.”

How should I take that? Was he just being polite? Am I reading too much into it? Or is it exactly how it sounds?

Page 11

Visiting Fanaion has become a regular part of my daily routine, the highlight in my otherwise bug-killing filled day. He’s doing much, much better. He’ll soon be able to return to the battlefield.

I know it’s horribly selfish, but I almost wish he could stay ill like this (not seriously injured like before, obviously), that way we could keep seeing each other. When I’m with him… I don’t even hear the bugs anymore. It’s hard to describe… I guess I just feel… safe. Yeah, that’s it. He makes me feel safe, and happy. I don’t even feel my bruises anymore, and… the future looks bright. I just want to hang on to those feelings.

Page 12

I can’t believe it. I write these journals in order not to lose myself, to reflect on what’s happening in my life. But now… I have no words. I’m so happy!

He got me a flute. I know I’ve mentioned it to him once, but to think he’d actually remember?! We’re in the middle of the desert, supplies aren’t particularly good… and he gets me a flute. How? How did he pull that off?

He didn’t even give me a chance to thank him. He just casually tossed it to me, and went off to fight. I’ll have to thank him properly next time I see him.

Page 13

The Keeper came to speak with me today. Asked me if I could talk to Fanaion about his recent stunt on the battlefield… He said he had considered giving him a formal warning, but thought it would be more effective if I talked to him instead.

I’m both flattered and annoyed about this. I guess I never realized how well he listens to me, compared to others. But seriously.. what does the Keeper think am I? I’m his girlfriend, not his babysitter!

Still, I agreed to the Keeper’s request. But I couldn’t just let that be the end of it, let him talk about Fanaion as if he were some kind of mere rebel. He’s an experienced and capable fighter, what did he expect? Fanaion isn’t someone who just blindly follows orders; he thinks for himself. Yes, he’s a bit too self-confident at times, but he hasn’t endangered anyone. He disobeyed a direct order, yes. But I honestly think we’re all the better for it, and that’s what I told the Keeper as well.

In hindsight, I might have talked to him with a little more respect... Grandmother would not approve.

Page 14

We’ve been on the retreat ever since this war started. As time passes, I find my hope to falter more and more. It’s more a general fear for our people’s future though, rather than the fear for my own death.

Because whenever I’m fighting, I know he’s always near. I know it sounds odd, but even if I can’t see him, I just know he’s there, looking out for me. After all this time… he still makes me feel safe.

Page 15

I’m so happy they’ve kept my journal while I was missing. Because yes, I’ve been separated from my brothers and sisters for almost 2 months. I’ve developed a newfound respect for our Warden of the Hunt, and by extension, all Wardens. I surely wouldn’t have survived it if she wouldn’t have been with me.

One of the things that kept me going was the thought of Fanaion. I’ve often imagined our reunion, and I’m fully aware my imagination can run rampant at times… but this! No, this just won’t do! “Oh, you’re still alive? That’s good. We need as many capable fighters as we can.” EXCUSE ME?! What’s with the attitude?! You don’t greet the woman you love like that after she’d been presumed death! And I know I’m not making the love part up! So I’m nothing but a ‘capable fighter’ to him now? And stupid me just stood there, not saying anything… I just let him walk away like that. How unlike me eh?

Could he be seeing someone else? No, that’s not like him… Maybe it’s the stress? Or maybe he was embarrassed because there were people watching us? He’s never been big on the whole public display of affection thing. Yes, that has to be it. I’ll talk to him in private next time.

Page 16

He’s never alone. He’s always with this Eldarion… when did they become so close? I don’t remember ever seeing them together. Liasanya told me the Keeper sent Fanaion to Eldre’Thalas with some others to recover an artefact (on that subject: What was he thinking?!). They didn’t find anything though. She also says he’s giving me such a hard time because he couldn’t cope with my ‘death’. She claims he changed after I disappeared, overcome with grief. She reasons that the fact that I’m alive and well now must be a big shock to him, as he only overcame his grief by suppressing the thought of me. That would explain why he’s avoiding me.

But still… I love him, and I know he loves me too. I can’t just let it end like this.

Page 17

I pulled some strings and got the guard duties changed: I’m now paired with Fanaion. Let's see him avoid me now.

And while all of this is going on, the end of the War draws closer, I just know it. How can we lose now that we have the help of the Dragons? Of course I’m happy about this, who wouldn’t be? But I want to be as happy as when I talked about it with Fanaion… I want to celebrate the beginning of our future. What of Winterspring? What of the lake? What of our… It’s all fallen apart!

Page 18

Right, so I talked with him. One on one, with no-one around. He said that he really is happy to see me alive, and pretty much confirmed what Liasanya already told me. He says that he never knew he could love someone as much as he had loved me, and that he cannot go through losing me again. That’s why he doesn’t want to see me anymore, doesn’t want to fall for me again.

I told him that’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. And moreover, it’s not something the Fanaion I know would say. He claims that war changes people, that it has changed him and me as well. He says the Nyra he knows would not push this subject.

If he really means, then that’s the saddest thing: it means he doesn’t know me at all.

I’m not giving up!

((OOC: Full credit for this goes to Lillyandra and her awesome writing skills.))

Danger! Handle with caution.
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Posted: Feb 12 2008, 08:34 PM

Posts: 14
Class: Hunter

((Just like to say I really liked the constant bushing, the sound they sleep to, eat to, fight to. Loved that touch, overall 'twas very good indeedie.
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