*before you lie several numbered pages and a small note. they're all written in Ashtear's inelegant scrawl*
The note reads:
Nyra's Journal...
I'm not sure what to make of this, so I will leave it up to you. Know that there appear to be some pages missing between 12th and 13th.
page 1
Today I arrived in Silithus. First impression: whoa, what a heat. Second impression: whoa, what a lot of people! It took me a while to find the Silver Sentinel camp, but everyone was very kind and accommodating. Im yet to see the enemy up-close, but the Keeper briefed us on what theyve discovered about them so far.
The very small ones are said to be relatively harmless, but we kill them just to make sure. The big ones require considerably more effort. The Keeper says that the worst are yet to come though, that we will encounter bugs which makes these big ones look like grains of sand (of which there is, by the way, far too much here too). I have faith in the Keeper and in my sisters and brothers, I really do. Luckily, Fanaion is here too, of course. However, despite all of that...
Im still a bit scared.
Page 2
*the writing looks messy*
Back from my first day at the front-lines. Im still all shaken up.
Their chitinous plating is interlaced in such a way that makes it incredibly strong, my glaive just cant seem to get through it. Just whats their weak point?
Page 3
I saw someone die today.
I dont even know her name. She arrived on the same day as I did, though I went to the Silver Sentinels while she was stationed with the Sentinel Army. Thats about all I knew about her. She had just landed her first killing blow, and turned around to face me as I congratulated her. Standing like that, she didnt see the stinger of another Silithid coming for her. It went right through her back and came out the other way, I could see the blood, the intestines and... By Elune, it was horrible. I dont think Ill ever forget it.
Page 4
Sound carries far here, and I dont like what I hear. The bugs dont sleep. The buzzing never stops. Its the sound to which I wake up, it is the sound that gives the rhythm to my fighting, and it is the sound to which I fall asleep. That is, if I even manage to fall asleep.
And not being able to sleep isnt good. It makes my mind wonder, especially to Fanaion and my father. With all the sadness and pain around me, I feel really guilty at times for thinking about him like that. But I cant help it. Whenever I think of how my future should be, it always ends up with me and Fanaion being together. I know its selfish and even farfetched
but thats what dreams are for, right? It gives me hope, and hopes always good.
Yet there are also moments where I realize just how close to dying I come every day. And then I think of my dear father. I said so many things which I did not mean at all, and I think he did not mean what he said either. I pray to the Goddess that She grants me the opportunity to apologize to him, please dont let these be the last words said between us.
Page 5
Ive always been good at dodging and though it pays off here, today proved that theres still room for improvement. One of the bugs aimed for my chest, and though I was able to avoid that, it still managed to cut my arm. A lot of blood came out, but its not as worse as it looks, I can still fight. Liasanya told me that Fanaion looked very worried when he saw me get cut. Perhaps something good might come of this yet!
Page 6
I wish this war was over already. I long for the forests of Ashenvale. Or no, I think Id rather be in Winterspring, as there is nothing to remind me of this place in its snowy landscape. Its too cold for the bugs. And by Elune, the bugs just keep coming. Weve lost so much ground to them... so many good people.
Page 7
Fanaion was severely wounded during todays assault. Hes sustained a large wound to his leg, and he lost a lot of blood before we were able to bring him into the care of our Priestesses. I havent seen him since he was carried into the tent.
Im sick with worry.
Page 8
His condition remains critical. Part of me wants to run in there right now and be with him, yet another part keeps me from doing that. Why would he want to see me, right? Ill probably just be a bother to him.
Page 9
Liasanya visited Fanaion today. She says hes doing better, that hes stable now. She once again urged me to go and see him, she says my reasons for not going are ridiculous, that its just plain rude not to visit someone you know when theyre ill.
Maybe Ill go tomorrow.
Page 10
All right, so I went to visit him today. He looked terrible, it was horrible to see him in such a state. And as I made my way to his bed, I thought about turning back and leaving, but then he recognized and greeted me. Ive missed hearing his voice. Anyway, he said he was happy to see me. We had a really nice talk. Talked about everything except this bloody war. Then, as I prepared to leave, he took my hand and said Nyra, thank you for coming. Ive been wanting to see you.
How should I take that? Was he just being polite? Am I reading too much into it? Or is it exactly how it sounds?
Page 11
Visiting Fanaion has become a regular part of my daily routine, the highlight in my otherwise bug-killing filled day. Hes doing much, much better. Hell soon be able to return to the battlefield.
I know its horribly selfish, but I almost wish he could stay ill like this (not seriously injured like before, obviously), that way we could keep seeing each other. When Im with him
I dont even hear the bugs anymore. Its hard to describe
I guess I just feel
safe. Yeah, thats it. He makes me feel safe, and happy. I dont even feel my bruises anymore, and
the future looks bright. I just want to hang on to those feelings.
Page 12
I cant believe it. I write these journals in order not to lose myself, to reflect on whats happening in my life. But now
I have no words. Im so happy!
He got me a flute. I know Ive mentioned it to him once, but to think hed actually remember?! Were in the middle of the desert, supplies arent particularly good
and he gets me a flute. How? How did he pull that off?
He didnt even give me a chance to thank him. He just casually tossed it to me, and went off to fight. Ill have to thank him properly next time I see him.
Page 13
The Keeper came to speak with me today. Asked me if I could talk to Fanaion about his recent stunt on the battlefield
He said he had considered giving him a formal warning, but thought it would be more effective if I talked to him instead.
Im both flattered and annoyed about this. I guess I never realized how well he listens to me, compared to others. But seriously.. what does the Keeper think am I? Im his girlfriend, not his babysitter!
Still, I agreed to the Keepers request. But I couldnt just let that be the end of it, let him talk about Fanaion as if he were some kind of mere rebel. Hes an experienced and capable fighter, what did he expect? Fanaion isnt someone who just blindly follows orders; he thinks for himself. Yes, hes a bit too self-confident at times, but he hasnt endangered anyone. He disobeyed a direct order, yes. But I honestly think were all the better for it, and thats what I told the Keeper as well.
In hindsight, I might have talked to him with a little more respect... Grandmother would not approve.
Page 14
Weve been on the retreat ever since this war started. As time passes, I find my hope to falter more and more. Its more a general fear for our peoples future though, rather than the fear for my own death.
Because whenever Im fighting, I know hes always near. I know it sounds odd, but even if I cant see him, I just know hes there, looking out for me. After all this time
he still makes me feel safe.
Page 15
Im so happy theyve kept my journal while I was missing. Because yes, Ive been separated from my brothers and sisters for almost 2 months. Ive developed a newfound respect for our Warden of the Hunt, and by extension, all Wardens. I surely wouldnt have survived it if she wouldnt have been with me.
One of the things that kept me going was the thought of Fanaion. Ive often imagined our reunion, and Im fully aware my imagination can run rampant at times
but this! No, this just wont do! Oh, youre still alive? Thats good. We need as many capable fighters as we can. EXCUSE ME?! Whats with the attitude?! You dont greet the woman you love like that after shed been presumed death! And I know Im not making the love part up! So Im nothing but a capable fighter to him now? And stupid me just stood there, not saying anything
I just let him walk away like that. How unlike me eh?
Could he be seeing someone else? No, thats not like him
Maybe its the stress? Or maybe he was embarrassed because there were people watching us? Hes never been big on the whole public display of affection thing. Yes, that has to be it. Ill talk to him in private next time.
Page 16
Hes never alone. Hes always with this Eldarion
when did they become so close? I dont remember ever seeing them together. Liasanya told me the Keeper sent Fanaion to EldreThalas with some others to recover an artefact (on that subject: What was he thinking?!). They didnt find anything though. She also says hes giving me such a hard time because he couldnt cope with my death. She claims he changed after I disappeared, overcome with grief. She reasons that the fact that Im alive and well now must be a big shock to him, as he only overcame his grief by suppressing the thought of me. That would explain why hes avoiding me.
But still
I love him, and I know he loves me too. I cant just let it end like this.
Page 17
I pulled some strings and got the guard duties changed: Im now paired with Fanaion. Let's see him avoid me now.
And while all of this is going on, the end of the War draws closer, I just know it. How can we lose now that we have the help of the Dragons? Of course Im happy about this, who wouldnt be? But I want to be as happy as when I talked about it with Fanaion
I want to celebrate the beginning of our future. What of Winterspring? What of the lake? What of our
Its all fallen apart!
Page 18
Right, so I talked with him. One on one, with no-one around. He said that he really is happy to see me alive, and pretty much confirmed what Liasanya already told me. He says that he never knew he could love someone as much as he had loved me, and that he cannot go through losing me again. Thats why he doesnt want to see me anymore, doesnt want to fall for me again.
I told him thats the most ridiculous thing Ive ever heard. And moreover, its not something the Fanaion I know would say. He claims that war changes people, that it has changed him and me as well. He says the Nyra he knows would not push this subject.
If he really means, then thats the saddest thing: it means he doesnt know me at all.
Im not giving up!
((OOC: Full credit for this goes to Lillyandra and her awesome writing skills.))
Danger! Handle with caution.
